Tattoo Musings

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Last night I embarked on a three hour journey to get a cover up tattoo. This replaced the stupid little Chinese symbol I had gotten on my right shoulder when I was seventeen. My tattoo artist, Michael, did a phenomenal job. He seriously blew my mind with how well the first part of the piece turned out.

Anyways, during the work my thoughts were racing (well technically when are my thoughts not racing?). I was just thinking of some things I had experienced in my childhood, specifically that related to me as a woman. I told Michael this story....

When I was eight years old I had a really good friend who lived in the neighborhood with me. I was never a girly girl. Or woman for that matter until I became a single mom honestly (so age 22?). This girl and I used to ride our bikes up and down dirt hills, etc. Well one day we both decided we wanted to play princesses/castle. A typical game for young ladies. Well during this game I made the comment to her that, "I was a real princess because my daddy was Jesus and He was a king." So calmly and so matter-of-fact my friend replied, "Meg, you can't be a real princess because you aren't beautiful."

Wooh. Right? What can you say as an eight year old girl? I couldn't say anything. In fact, I went home and cried and told my mom about it. Years ago when I was really dealing with self esteem issues this came up and I realized that this statement was truly the start of my self-doubt.

Thankfully God has restored me of those self-doubts. Honestly, I know I'm beautiful now. I have favorite parts about me (my eyes being one and my personality another). But I also love my compassion and general genuine feelings towards everyone. I genuinely love people and I genuinely want to see people happy.

There was a challenge going around facebook to post four or five of your favorite photos that made you feel the most beautiful. It made me think that being beautiful isn't just on the surface. Sure I know that, but others don't. It made think of many of the girls I encounter and I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, "BE YOUR OWN KIND OF BEAUTIFUL!" Your beauty doesn't have to match mine. Your personality doesn't have to be my kind of personality; you are still beautiful and you are still unique. Beautiful simply means, "Pleasing the senses."

So with this challenge I started looking at photos. The first one that made me feel the most beautiful was of me laboring with Sophia in the bath tub. Why? I did it naturally and without her father there. I had my mother and a friend, but it's not the same. When I look at this picture I feel brave. I feel beautiful because I did it. I labored with Sophia for over 36 hours and she came out face up (one of the most difficult ways to push a child out) and I did it. I'm pleased.

Then I thought of the picture of me crying after a very emotionally painful day. My vulnerability wasn't my strong point but I made it a point to snap a photo of myself and share it with the world. I realized the longer I lived the more beautiful life became; I became. If I foolishly ignore this beauty I would soon find myself without it.

I love this photo of my two youngest sisters and I. I feel beautiful when I'm with them. They bring out a confidence in me that far exceeds what I can do myself. I think it is because I want them to see just how beautiful they are. And sometimes the best way to show someone that is by being confident yourself. I want my sisters to know that every day will not be good, but you can always find something beautiful in each day.

So with that, and those three simple photos, I don't know why I'm writing this blog post specifically. I think maybe a young lady needs to hear are beautiful. You are unique. Even when you see someone that seems "hotter" or more "desirable" remember that those who value you will see the beauty inside of you and not compare you to the girl next to you. You may not be where I am right now but you can be closer to that point of confidence each and every day.

I know I don't have the best teeth, or the best legs, or even the fittest abs. But what I do know is that no one, no one in this entire world, is exactly like me. Why would I sacrifice myself and this world of a beauty that I can offer that no one else can? I believe in extraordinary things. I believe in romance. I believe in Jesus. I believe in being crazy and not caring what the neighbor next to me thinks. I believe that I offer something beautiful to each person I meet. And I believe that beautiful people just don't happen, they are created.

Today, embrace YOUR beauty.

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