Stop Turning

Saturday, March 29, 2014

It's been a while friends but I haven't stopped learning. I've taken a quiet backseat and allowed God to minister to me over these last few weeks.

As many know I've embarked on a yearly fasting journey. Each month I fast something new to challenge my faith, mind, body and spirit to grow closer to the Lord. I learned something incredible after the very first month and have wanted to share but hadn't gotten time to sit and do it.

The first month I fasted sweets and pizza. While some may see these items as minuscule or meager for me it was a serious sacrifice. My family was eating pizza 3 plus times a week and I was consuming sugar in some form every day. (Especially dessert!)

So, we started January 1st. It was a true sacrifice. The first week was a killer. I thought I was going to lose my mind and quit. I had horrible headaches, mood swings, and awful cravings. I thought, "What am I doing? I never had the mood swing, headaches, or cravings when I was eating the sweets. A few bites of something here or there won't hurt...right?"

The past and the thing I was giving up seemed so good. It seemed so much better than the present fast. Why was I struggling so much?

I did it though. I went a full month without any pizza OR sweets. I was so proud of myself that on February 1st I said, "I'm going all out!" I had two candy bars and a cupcake that a friend of mine from church bought me. They tasted sooooo good. I felt like I had missed out on a months worth of deliciousness.

Then God got a hold of me. About 11:30pm that night I began feeling really queasy and nauseous. I went to sleep but my stomach ached so bad I couldn't rest. What is going on? I literally had felt fine several hours later. By midnight I was tossing my cookies so much that I had gotten rid of everything I had eaten that day and the day before.

I was like this all day on the 2nd of February. I had to cover all my serves and had to stay home because anything I drank or ate would come right back out of me. I was miserable. 

Isn't it like God to speak to you in the most miserable of times? As I laid on my couch desperately praying for my water to stay put I heard God's still small voice.

"Why did you go back? Why did you turn back and do the same thing as before? I rid you of this." 

His words hit me like a ton of bricks.

I had gone back. After two years of serious sugar addiction God had rid me of it in a month long fast. I was happier, less moody, less tired, and overall felt much better during the month I had fasted sugar and pizza. In ONE day I had turned the 30 days of detox (spiritually and physically) into what seemed to be nothing.

God directed me to Exodus 16.

We see the Israelites wandering the wilderness. Hungry, tired, and feeling alone they went to Moses and Aaron and began to complain about God.

Exodus 16:3 And the children of Israel said to them, “Oh, that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat and when we ate bread to the full! For you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.”

The Israelites were in a new season, and that season was so challenging that at times it felt like the past was better, even when it wasn't. They wanted to look back, turn back, because it was easy. How often and how many times have WE done this? How often have we looked to our past or turned around and made the same bad decision because it was, easy?

God got a hold of me that day. With every sick movement I felt God saying, STOP TURNING BACK. I've cleansed you from that addiction to sugar, I've made you stronger, why would you want to undo that?

Someone needs to hear today that while things may be easier our way, while the past (as bad or good as it may seem) seems to much easier to live in or to focus on, STOP. Don't be like Lot's wife and turn into a pillar of salt. Salt leaves us thirsty,yes, but too much salt or sodium can kill you and God wants you to live well and free so that He can use you fully.

Be Blessed,