To the Fatherless Son

I volunteer with my church (Freedom House Church) in the Planet Zion group which is first thru third grade kids; I am an apprentice as well in the kids ministry and volunteer and work every Saturday and Sunday. Some of the stories and things I hear from the kids are some what normal and others BLOW ME AWAY. Ultimately you are going to hear things that make you happy, sad and then weird you out a bit....like the time a child told me his dogs farts stink! EWWW.

However today, I was brought to my knees by something a brother and sister told me. While we were waiting in car line the little girl randomly said, "Ms. Meg, my daddy is at work." I thought it was chit chat and said, "Oh neat! What does your daddy do for work?" She replied, "I don't know. He works for a long time." Suddenly her big brother (a year older) popped over and so truthfully stated, "Ms. Meg, we don't have a dad. I'm her brother."

Well, at first I was dumbfounded. I figured the little girl was old enough to at least know who her dad was when before I could question silently anything else he continues on. "Our dad left us and our mom.She cries a lot. Sometimes he comes to visit us on Saturdays but sometimes not."

This boy, this son, had the saddest look on his face. I was (putting it frank here) angry for him. I understand marital issues (trust me!) but there is a big difference in having issues and just up and leaving. I got down face-to-face with this young man and said, "Sweet boy, you know that Jesus is your father too? That He is the perfect father and that even though your earthly father isn't always there, Jesus is. You know that, right?" He just looked me straight in the eye and said, "I guess," and walked away. The response tattooed something deep into my heart and so for that I wanted to present this letter. This letter is intended for the dad to the fatherless, and to the son. I know these feelings all too well as my biological father left me when I was in utero and the man that was in my life while I was child abused me in so many ways emotional and spiritual.

Dear Dad to the Fatherless Son,

I am so angry with you today. I'm angry that you felt that the only want to deal with your marital issues, or personal issues, or whatever issues you were having was to up and leave your family; but more importantly your children. Do you know what no matter what I could say to him he will struggle with the thought that his dad left him to be the sole man in his home? You may say, "Oh he doesn't need to be a man, he's just a boy." But what you don't realize is that when you walked out you placed a responsibility on this boy's shoulder that is not his at this time. 

Not only am I angry with you but my heart breaks for you. Your son is bright. He's handsome and he's funny. Do you know he raised his hand today to make a pledge to be honest? Do you know that he laughed at my jokes? You could be telling him jokes, teaching them to him, so that he could pass them on. 

Do you know that your son wants to play ball? I'm sure you do. I'm sure you think about your children daily, and if you don't, I pray you start. Your son loves you. He was telling me about the short visits you two have and that he wishes sometimes they were longer but that he tries to understand.

Do you know, dad to the hopeful son, that it's never too late to change things. It's never too late to come back home or to even at least return back to your child's life. I'm a hopeful daughter. My biological father left me, but if he came back and wanted a relationship now or to mend things I would. Why? Because every child wants to know their parent in a way. Where they came from or who they are from their family line. 

God chose you, dad, to be this child's parent. If you feel like a failure, you are not. We ALL make mistakes. I have three kids of my own and even though I fail daily, I know that God choose me because he knew I was the perfect fit (not perfect person, but the perfect fit) for them. 

So....it's not too late. I'm here to help your child in a way that is subtle. Through a smile and a hug each Sunday, through praying for them (I pray for all of my PZ kids before they leave), and teaching them the Bible. 

My prayer is that God will bring people in your life that will tell you exactly this. That will share Christ' love for you. Because despite our poor choices, God loves you.