My heart has never been so "anxious" to find out the news of a babies gender. I would love another daughter, but my heart, my prayer was for a son. I think people look at me like an insensitive mother when I say I specifically prayed and sowed seed for a SON. I've seen it in scripture where woman have specifically prayed for a son and God heard them so why does today's time have to be any different?
My husband and I knew we wanted a "larger" family then most would think we would have. We have a heart for adoption as well and plan in the future to adopt a child (if it be God's will, amen.). We began praying for our family after we got married in January of 2012, but more specifically we began praying for and sowing seed for our son who we knew would be named, Joseph.
I really studied the life of Hannah (who we would name our daughter after if God would have given us a girl) in Samuel 1. I felt her grief and even giggled a little when I read what her husband wrote in 1 Samuel 1:8 Then Elkanah her husband said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? And why is your heart grieved? Am I not better to you than ten sons?” Elkanah asked her why she was sad, grieved, and even had the gall to ask if he was not better than ten sons. Well my sweet Elkie, you are a great husband but the love of a husband and towards a husband is truly different than a love towards son.
Hannah prayed. I prayed. Hannah offered promises. We have offered promises. I have offered promises. Hannah sowed seed through fasting and prayer. I have sown seed. I have fasted. I have prayed. And it happened.
2012 was by far the hardest year for my husband, my children and I. We could literally NOT see the light in anything if it weren't for leaders in our church. When we decided (yes, we planned baby #3) to give it a go and try for a baby we did not expect to conceive in our first cycle. But it happened. We had sown seed almost a year back for our son and when I got the dream from the Lord to take a pregnancy test and that it WOULD BE positive, I knew deep in my heart I was going to have Joseph.
God's promises don't lie. Joseph is all ready an extremely blessed child and a blessing to us and our family. Joseph means "increase; He will add" and we looked at this new life and this promise fulfilled as God answering many prayers for our life. Many new beginnings happening and I was overcome with joy.
This past Thursday we saw him officially. We saw his private parts and as soon as our ultrasound tech found his "goods" I KNEW it was a boy. (It was clearly obvious.) I lost it and began to literally weep on the table. My son. My sweet, sweet Joseph.
I am in love. My husband is in love with this sweet boy. I cannot wait to hold him in my arms, nurse him, and kiss his face. Until then I will continue to pray for him, rub my belly and sing to him.
But most importantly I wanted to use this time to tell those who are holding fast to a word from God, to a promise they hope to receive or to something they are sowing seed into. God hears you. God sees you and God knows what YOU NEED and when YOU NEED IT. I love this quote that states, "Sometimes God delivers you from your trials or through your trials." God sometimes chooses to deliver us immediately and then other times He uses time to work in us a faith that is beyond what we can imagine. Keep on. Hold strong. And remember that God has not forgotten.
When you see my son, remember that.
